"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005
sometimes you actually wonder why you are doing something. is it because you want to do it? is it because everyone else is doing it? or is it because you have no choice. the latter 2 choices are finding their way increasingly frequently into my life. i'm starting to do things not because i find a purpose in it, but because there is no purpose, just a direction. the path less taken is an unchartered one, it may not always bring you to your destination. it may not even be a pleasant journey. so why bother? a direction is there, charted, compass and map provided. just do as it says.
it's been a queer week. i've heard so much being said about myself that sometimes i wonder if it's all true. maybe i shouldn't think too much and let things take their natural course. maybe that's the best way of doing things. or is it? he told me something i have no reason to deny, yet neither have i reason to believe it's true. such is the paradox of life. the model of perfect competition doesn't exist in this world, it never did.
i spend endless hours watching VCDs, and i'm finding it addictive, but at least i find meaning in those. i really do...