I stood on the shoulders of giants

In My Words

"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005

Flying Fingers of

kelvin
in london
reading law
bloody stressed

Archives

I don't keep archives

Currently Reading

Company Law - Gower and Davies

in the mood for

Yi Lu Xiang Bei
- Jay Chou

Measure of a Man
- Clay Aiken

Public Airings

The Straits Times Selection

Singapore:To Me
Elitism
Musicianship
Work/Study

A Memory Stirs

The Highlights

Joan Chan
From the future
Ninth Exco
No Damn
WMD
July 7th
My words
My Story, Your Song
Open Letter
ISFJ

Linked to

Livvy
Kassie
Xf
Dana
Audrey

Say Hi to me

kelvgoh@gmail.com

I endorse

the LSESUSS Disco 2005
zouked@the phoenix

from you to me

Talkflooble chatterbox, a free javascript chat tag board / shoutbox / tagboard program for your xanga, diary, blogger or weblogfree puzzle of the day

free hit counter

It Drives Me

thanks to

Image: Yun Photo Gallery
Design: Blogfrocks
Powered: Blogger

In this mad mad world, a week can bring both the pinnacles of euphoria and the troughs of disappointment. I clearly remember wednesday evening, I was in the newsroom eagerly watching the results of the IOC session. As I watched Jacques Rogge take that white envelope, which incidently seemed too well sealed for it to be gracefully opened, and mutter a long string of words which culminated in "the city of London", I actually jumped up in glee and punching my fists in the air. There were tears in my eyes as I saw the London delegation hug each other in a show of unity and genuine delight.

I remembered watching the London bid video, and I was glowing with pride as I identified with the various places shown in the clip, from footage of the London eye, to a sweeping view of Buckingham palace. These are all places I hold very dearly to my heart, as icons of the city that I call home for the greater part of the past two years.

The very next day, my eyes were glued to the wire news that was coming in on my computer. I received the very first news of explosions at London Liverpool Street station at about 4pm in the afternoon, and the newsroom started to hub with action. As the news became clearer that a chain of explosions had actually occured, more decibel level in the newsroom arose as we prepared to re-layout and re-sked our prime pages. The copy and sub-editors had their eyes glued on the tv screen for news, and so did a good number of reporters.

I stood there too, running back to my desk to check the wires every 10 minutes or so. But the reason I was so gripped by the events that were unfolding is not because it was a bloody sensational news event, but because these bombings occured in my own backyard, my own playground, a place I consider as a home.

I watched the footage of the bus bomb at Tavistock Square, and I see the grey silhoutte of the British Medical Association in the background. And I felt a searing pain ripping through my heart as I pictured myself walking along that same road just a few months ago.

More news came in about the tube events, and it suddenly struck me to attempt to call Ted in London. I tried a few times to connect the call, but the phone networks in London were jammed and I couldn't get through. And all these time, I was watching the death toll escalate, and those images of bloodied faces remain ingrained in my mind. I was praying and hoping, I will not see the bloodied face of someone I know.

The nearly defunct Singsoc and LSE03 yahoogroups suddenly flooded with messages, as everyone started asking about our friends in London. Jonathan, being the leader that he is, started organising some contact tracing, and making sure that everyone is okay and accounted for.

I am gratified at the responses of the Singaporean community at the LSE to these events that shocked many into a lulled state of confusion. It is times like these when I see the genuine concern of many of the well being of our fellow Singaporeans. I see names of people who are often forgotten being mentioned, and attempts are made to contact them. These are times when I see that the presence of a tightly-knit Singaporean community in land far far away as the fulcrum of concern and kinship.

I thank God that all my fellow Singaporeans, and friends, are alive and well. But I also ask God, why did he allow this to happen.

It is not my position to question His will nor His love for all of us, but I refuse to accept that in little more than 5 years, hundreds of thousands of innocent lives have been lost to the sheer lunacy of acts of terror and despotism. The magnitude of September 11 only sunk into the detached national serviceman that I was, as I watched the death toll escalate.

The pictures of screaming and bloodied soldiers in the Iraq invasion left me looking at myself in the mirror, in full army camouflage, wondering if one day I was sent on a mission of lunacy, will I end up screaming for my life.

I supported the Iraq war insofar as the intelligence provided had given rise to a proper and genuine concern as regards to weapons of mass destruction. I am also convinced of the legality of the incursion, which I believe will be to the consternation of my peers. But on fundamental grounds, I have never acknowledged the principles of the invasion of a sovereign state without provocation. While I also openly give my support to pre-emptive military action, I have always felt the pain of the family, friends and loved ones, of those lost in combat.

I often question, why the need for such killing and destruction. But yet the rational side of me realises and acknowledges the absolute necessity of such acts.

I condemn the the people who have made it their life mission to instill an environment where regular citizens as us step out on the streets every day wondering if we will come back home walking or in a wooden casket. I condemn the people who believe that their acts of terror and destruction will bring glory and respect to them.

Please see what this world is becoming for us, for our children, our grandchildren and the many more generations to come. If we have no love for our fellow humans who inhibit this world with us, we should at least spare a thought for these young lives that we bring into this world with happiness and pride. Our blood flows within them, our reflections flicker back in those gleaming eyes, and our souls reside in those clenched fists grabbing our little finger. Do we want to bring into a world where they can never live life the way it should be lived? Do we want to introduce them to the pain and suffering of a battlefield the moment they take their first sight of sky. Do we want their lives to be one of never seeing the people who brought them into the world? My answer is no, no, no.

My children deserve a better life than the one I painted, and so do yours, and yours, and yours, and yours, and yours, and yours.......

-----------------------------------------------------------------

On a somewhat more cheerful note, I thoroughly enjoyed my friday evening. Friday evenings are something that I look forward to, for they are evenings of uninhibited jokes, laughter and kinship. Gorging ourselves silly, criticising multi-million dollar productions, or just simply yelling our lungs out in a civilised and melodious manner.

I am grateful for the presence of these individuals and I count it a wonderful blessing to be in their company, their thoughts and their lives.

I am grateful too for the friends who understand me, who know what means the world to me, and help me see and feel those hopes and wishes. They are the little angels whom exist on earth to bring happiness to others, and it is my fervent wish that they live in happiness themselves. And for them I will give my best.

But most of all, I am grateful for every beat of my heart, every breath I take, every sight I see, every feeling I feel. I am grateful for my life, and its beauty. For all the ups, for all the downs, life is beautiful.

kelvin was inspired at 5:17 AM