"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005
Junx has found his happiness. i should be happy for him. but am i not really happy? is it a sense of fear? i guess so. now that he has someone else more important in his life, i can no longer have those all guy outings as often as i like anymore. i feel so left on the shelf. everyone else has a significant other. it's not easy to work these feelings out. sometimes i think it's so immature and childish, but it isn't always that easy to just push them aside and get on with life.
i didn't go for a single class this week. i just don't feel like going for classes. i really don't learn much from them and i'm perfectly happy working on my own. sometimes i'm just so sick and tired of this paper chase. it's just so irrelevant to what i want out of life, yet it is so acutely necessary. it fits itself into it someway or another.
i dunno. i just feel so alone these few days. maybe physically there are people around me. but i don't feel that i belong anymore. i don't belong anywhere. just like driftwood. perhaps, really, i've outlived my usefulness.