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In My Words "Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different. Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place." - Sept 2005 Flying Fingers of
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Saturday, March 06, 2004
when i blog. it's either good or bad. no routine run-of-the mill days.
yet another dinner of instant noodles while others treat themselves and make merry over sumptious dinners. i ate by myself yesterday as well. i just feel like eating by myself all the time since it doesn't really make a difference anymore. i look into the mirror and what do i see? a broken man who gave his all but in the end nothing's changed. i thought i'd be close to the comm. i was. but i think i thought i assumed wrongly. they're still perfectly hanging out in their own little cliques. he's close to them. they enjoy time together, and i assume they enjoy it better without me around. we were supposed to be food hunting mates and what else.. hardly even talk nowadays. my soul mate? always busy now. seems like the only time people find time to talk to me nowadays is to ask a favour of me, and somehow, i still find it hard to say no. i don't particularly dig people coming to my room. i open my doors to them but i don't enjoy it. bankside clubhouse. people walk in and walk out as they wish. need a place for congregation it's assumed to be my room. leave a big mess after it and i have to pack up. at first i didn't mind. maybe it would help foster friendships. didn't make a helluva difference. i'm still alone in this room. i'm alone in it at least 18 hours a day. i suddenly feel alone. the days where everybody talked to me just to say hi and ask after me are gone.. so are the days where people invite me to birthday parties, dinners, make merry sessions. not that they don't have them anymore, they do, but maybe they do have more fun without me. i still welcome people to my room. it's the only time i get invited to stuff anyway. i really miss those days... i feel tired again. i've been sapped dry of what i have to offer. i'll just do what i have to do... the stage will be mine? rubbish. i'm just a fool again. kelvin was inspired at 12:51 AM |
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