"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005
24 more days to the exams. i'm honestly very worried about the entire concept because i'm not sure that i know enough to comfortably settle down into some serious consolidation in terms of techniques.
in Formula One terms it can be said that there are 2 distinct phases of strategy a team can adopt. a low fuel strategy to qualify fast, and hope to slow down the pace of the race to their advantage, and the other alternative would be to put as much fuel as possible, qualify low but hope to outlast others by running longer... i feel that i'm doing the second now. not a very fast car to start with, so gotta pile on the fuel.. sigh. and it's heavy lugging that burden around...
i suddenly remember all the congratulatory pats on the back, all the "good for you's", all the high hopes.. everything positive that was placed on me when ppl knew that i was going to the LSE.. i suddenly find myself so inadequate.. aiming for a pass instead of anything higher. i really wonder if i'm really fulfilling what i can acheive or have i plateued out. i really don't know. i've given up seeking answers to questions that i fear receiving.
i shall work myself to the ground. i still have 23 days.. wish me luck.