"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005
a quick one here. it's really tiring and even though i have a lot to say i don't have the strength to type it all out.
it's getting ridiculous. to the extent that people are questioning whether i'm actually human. 10 hours a day is NOTHING. at least i don't think so. i'm still desperate. i still find myself feeling inadequate. i still need MORE. tomorrow, it'll be 12. and for the next week or so, that's the way it'll stay.
don't say i'm stupid, don't say "it isn't necessary". you ain't me, you don't know how i feel. you don't know what it feels like to be scared shitless when you realise that you don't know enough to even PASS when people around you are "happy to get 2:1s"
if i get through this exams unscathed, i promise i'll be nicer to indians, african-british and PRCs. for those of you who know me well enough, it isn't racist. at least it's not blind racism. wait till you've gone through the things i've gone through with that particular group. (please exclude singaporean indians (and LSESS ones too - they're great friends) pity i don't feel the same about my neighbours.
and of course i promise to start working earlier next year. you can estopp me to it.