I stood on the shoulders of giants

In My Words

"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005

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kelvin
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It Drives Me

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It has been some time since I blogged on something substantial, or something intellectual. I attempt to read my blog day by day but I'm increasingly finding it boring. So I shall try to spice it up again.

Rules of my blog

1) I do not keep a history for a very good reason. I have a friend who keeps vast histories of her entries, and her current boyfriend happened to stumble upon it, and found out that she used to date his sworn enemy. They're still together but it's not quite the same (long story cut really quite short)

2) I do not blog for an audience. I write what I think I want to write and if anyone doesn't agree with what I say or don't like what I say about them, then too bad. A blog is a diary and a diary is my thoughts in words.

3) I'm not exactly sure who reads this blog, and while you are welcome to read it, please remember that this is a diary and please accord it the respect you would like your diary to be given.

4) The fact that I don't have a comments link does not suggest that I do not welcome comments. I do, but my html knowledge is insufficient for me to adapt this skin to display a comments link.

that out of the way.

Yesterday was Zouked!, i.e. Singsoc disco. For the first time in my life in LSE, I missed a major Singsoc-organised event. I know I was given a free ticket, and while i'm thankful for it i must maintain that i did not ask for it. But yesterday and today, I was continuously faced with a barrage of questions "Why didn't you go for Zouked! ?"

My answer is that I just didn't want to go. I've got piles of work to be done, I have been sick for the past 4 weeks, got tonnes of planning to be done, tight on cash, and generally doubtful if i'll have a good time. C'mon, let's be honest, whether I go or not I think i'll still be doing the same thing with the same people (or maybe lack of) so what for?

But that doesn't mean that I don't care about Singsoc. I have never lost my love and sense of belonging to it. And if people are going to judge my loyalty to Singsoc or my friends just based on whether I give face to go to a disco, please ask yourself, do YOU want to be judged in that manner? And in any case, what do YOU know about what I have given to Singsoc?

I'm quite sick of being accountable to people for all sorts of absurd reasons. I live my life the way I want it to be. If what I do does not affect your life in any way, who are YOU to tell me how to live life? I'd rather YOU look in the mirror yourself and see if YOU have been practising what you preach.

I don't really care what YOU think of me, or what names YOU call me, or what sort of picture YOU paint of me to other people, for what YOU are doing ultimately paints a picture of YOU.

People who know me well, or even bother to understand me, will know that the only rule in my life is "not to do to someone something you won't want someone to do to you." I have always lived my life to that mantra. Unlike YOU, who happens to be a timebomb waiting to explode.

Remember, whichever faith you subscribe to, your God has eyes. I won't play God, but it does not mean I'm dumb. It's just because I don't want someone to do this back to me, that's why YOU're spared.

The world is never fair, but the only comfort you can take from that is when you know you've played fair, and the very best you could.

kelvin was inspired at 11:50 PM