"Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different.
Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place."
- Sept 2005
It's getting immensely frustrating. I think I'm losing most semblance of confidence in my own capabilities. Sometimes I just run out of stuff to say, or I have no idea how to express the stuff I have to say, or just simply say the wrong things at the wrong time. Especially the last one. It used to get me into a lot of trouble, and thus my crafted solution -not to say anything at all. Hence, i've become unapproachable.
Apart from that, I'm starting to find time a huge premium. I have a thousand and one things to do, to take care of, and in the end, the only way i can say sane is to trust other people to do things. But anyone who knows me well knows : i find it hard to trust people to do things exactly the way it needs to be done. but in circumspect, this entire experience will be good for me, to restore some faith in people.
I've kinda beaten my jetlag, and it's a relief that i'm starting to be able to sleep at elevenish / twelvish and wake up sevenish. some irregularities here and there, but in the end it's pretty healthy. more sleep = better moods.
lots of things are bothering me now. I think I should go to where I must go to seek some peace, and answers.