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In My Words "Don't ever lose faith in who you are, for that's what makes you different. Don't try to turn yourself into someone everyone else is, for if that happens, the world is a poorer place." - Sept 2005 Flying Fingers of
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming about what that day would be like. As I wrote down my last word as an undergraduate, what would that feeling be like. It was an anti-climax, it still is.There was no pure unbridled joy, there was no glee, no desire to jump out screaming. There was just anticipation for all that I hoped for, all that kept me going during the toughest, toughest times ever, everything that meant something to me. And every bit of it means so much to me, it really does. "No pain no gain right? What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." But sometimes it's really painful to watch the people you care so much about walk away, and even more so when you need them the most. I can run after them once, I can run after them twice, but the third time, you can't blame me when I start to ask myself why do I keep running. Like they grow tired, I'm grow tired too. My life is punctuated with people who stay, and people who go. Most come and go, once i've outlived my value as a friend to them they move on. Sometimes it's easy to say that all I hoped for was to have made a difference in their lives, but don't they know that one day I will need them too, and it would mean so much to me if they were there. But they weren't. Most weren't. And those who were there, I learn to treasure even more. And in the end, I hope they realise one thing. I may not be perfect. I cannot be the perfect person you want me to be. I am human too. there are times where I fail you, and for those times all I really hoped for was for you to understand, and for you to help me. I may never be that perfect person in your eyes, in your life. But what I am, what I was to you, is the best I am, the best that I could ever be. but if that wasn't enough, perhaps I am not worthy. kelvin was inspired at 11:21 PM |
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